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The Un-life and Times of Donald Draper – soon to be an AMC un-production

January 24, 2011

Still haven’t finished anything worthy of a full post yet, but I’m surf-scanning a lot and I came across some mildly troublesome news at Mad Men HQ – Basket of Kisses.  It seems The Oligarchs are fighting over the lucre that will be generated by Don Draper’s continued Existence. Meaning the peasants must stare at a blank television screen until the division of profits is agreed upon. I’m shocked Rick, absolutely shocked! 

There is much angst and some nausea found in the comment thread that follows but SmilerG at#19 made a necessary suggestion.

“I know — AMC needs to create a series about some zombies who form an ad agency!”

This amused me and thus I decided to skip lunch and run with the metaphorical football, not unlike Rashard Mendenhall did for my Pittsburgh Steelers in the AFC Championship last night.

Cross-posted for my amusement.

I’m liking the sound of SmilerG’s idea @19. Forgive me now in advance.

Title of the show — DeAdMen

It will be set in the 1960’s in a post-nuclear apocalypse, former metropolis now wryly referred to as the Manhattan Projects.

The ad agency’s four founders are Rotger Hurling, Bert Ewwwper, Graham Reaper and, of course, Vincent Price. (It’s the Sixties after all — he was everywhere!)

Joan Crawlaway is the Office Manager with a body to die for; and the Art Director, renowned for his re-animation and de-composition, (un)naturally, is Salvatore A. Romero. What an improbable comeback, huh?

And let’s not forget the Creative BRAAAAAAAINS of the outfit, Donald Olson Dahdehd. He is the well-dressed zombie son of a dirt-poor, immigrant mortician from Norway. He’s quite the ladies’ man. It appears all the girls want to jump his bones and haul his ashes.

Our Hero’s philosophy: “I’m un-living like there’s no tomorrow, because there isn’t one . . . unless of course you’re undead like me, then it’s always . . . hey! wait! that makes no fuckin’ sense; maybe it’s a metaphor.” On why he quit smoking: “Every cigarette is just another nail in your coffin.” His favorite cocktail: a formaldehyde Mold-Fashioned. On why he’s not dying: “It’s what we don’t do.”

He is, literally, the Ad Man for the Ages, barring a bullet through the skull, — the nameplate on the door up ahead says Don O. Dahdehd.

(and sorry to all the Hamm-sters out there, but Zombie Matt Weiner had to cast Bryan Cranston in the lead; he contracted liver cancer, dropped thirty-five pounds, and let his teeth rot out for this part.)

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