Oh Happy Day!
April 1, 2011
The saying goes, “You snooze, you lose.”
As the night sky roiled and the ominous clouds of Mad despair loomed, I spent the evening composing a rousing, self-righteous screed about the evil nature of capitalism, the complete corrupting effect of the profit motive on the creation of art, and the willful ignorance and intellectual laziness displayed by my fellow American citizens in failing to recognize and accept as simple fact all of the preceding. I furiously clicked at the keyboard. I roared. I rampaged. I was in highest of dudgeon.
Then of course I hit the runner’s wall. I passed out, exhausted.
When I awoke, I discovered the sun rising, the birds achirp, the world again spinning on its axis, – the Mad Men creative contract deal had been sanctioned and consummated. Huzzah! (The Lipp Sisters got a Weiner-god exclusive here.)
As a voice on a blog I lost the immediacy and relevance of my post, so sad. But as a Mad Men aficionado I was victorious. All is well.
UPDATE 4/1/11 1:38 pm edt:
Well that feeling of serenity was fucking short lived. I’m pissed off again. On the website Television Know-It-All a writer named Sidd Finch has an article up about the details and the DISTURBING CHANGES that Matthew Weiner agreed to implement for his fucking paymasters at AMC and Lionsgate as part of his three-year contract, so he can cash a big fucking paycheck no doubt.
Here’s a short list of the ones that really make me want to open my window and scream, “Fuckin’ SELL OUT Weiner!!!”
- Bert dies of a rare foot fungus
- Joan and Roger’s lovechild will be named Coop DeVille in honor of a deceased Bertram, and new sponsor Cadillac.
- Sally dies from taking the brown acid
- Betty dies of acute diverticulitis
- Roger commits suicide after it’s discovered he was arrested in the Stonewall raid
- Don and Megan move to Wisteria Lane (???)
- Peggy quits work and reunites with the baby she abandoned
- Greg leads a MASH unit in a suicidal counter-charge which reverses the Tet Offensive and wins the Vietnam War for the United States (this is all explained in a letter from the DoD read aloud by Joan in the breakroom)
- A title card will appear briefly on-screen after each commercial break; it will read – “The following four and half minutes of Mad Men is sponsored by . . . (your company name here) “
Cannot fucking believe this!!! Here’s the link, go see for yourself . . . if you think you have the stomach for it.
BURN IN HELL YOU MONEY CHASING WHORE.
My apologies. Excuse me, I believe I need a drink.