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Correct me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers . . .

April 7, 2011

The Masters started this morning. “A tradition like no other” – the product tagline reads.

I started playing golf at around the age of fourteen when I couldn’t play baseball any longer. My dad liked the game but he couldn’t find much time to play. He was an Arnie fan whom grudgingly grew to appreciate Nicklaus. I connected with Dad by learning as much as I could about the history and trivia of golf. And I waited for him to get out of work late on Sundays when we’d speed over to some course to squeeze in nine holes before dark.

So I was a natural sucker for the way the PGA and USGA decided to market their sport with all the Tradition and Father/Son folk heritage they deployed then, and still do now; it must work in the market. It was decades before I looked past the billboard and recognized the actual tradition of discrimination and elitism and privileged entitlement that pervades the game and the industry of golf. This reality-check ruined my “love of the Game”. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy golfing. I still enjoy hooding a 4-iron and thwackin’ the ball, low, with a gentle draw, into the teeth of a stiff ocean breeze. That’s still fun. I just don’t get into the plot of their TV show much nor “Cherish the Tradition” anymore.

And I also foresee Roger Sterling committing suicide!

But it still is The Masters and there’s money to wagered and won here. Below is my team for the week. The pool I’m in is won by the lowest total team score and I’m posting it for all the Internetz to be witness and thus testify to my genius in golf prognosticating. NostraLOMus of the Links predicting the future with a three-piece, high-spin, HEX dimpled, Calloway crystal ball.

  • Phil Michelson
  • Hunter Mahan
  • Matt Kuchar
  • Rory Sabbatini
  • Luke Donald
  • Nick Watney

Do me proud guys. Just do it!


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