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“A man is whatever room he is in.”

March 29, 2012

I, for one, was immensely relieved to see Bert Cooper padding around the 37th floor of the Time-Life building; back in the offices (but apparently still without his own) of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce.

When last we saw Bert, he has just dressed down Don, calling him “cynical and craven” (project much there  Bertram?!) then beckoned for his shoes and wished the underlings luck on his way out the door.

Whether his return was a natural result of a unique personality – “(Hilton) he’s a bit of an eccentric, isn’t he?” (again – project much Coop?!) –  or a blustery indication of an approaching dementia or perhaps entirely something else, it just feels right to have the old patriarch around, wingtip-less. But I still miss the bonsai tree.

(It occurs to me Bert is the ideal party guest for a white carpet shindig, no?)

To celebrate Bert’s continuing SCDP presence, I snuck into his personal library and misappropriated a couple of volumes of his own writing. I shall endeavor to publish pertinent passages on this here blog over the course of the season when I come across something relevant.

Today, I found some of his impressions of this season’s first episode of Mad Men, “A Little Kiss”.

From Haiku for the Completely Self-Interested, Volume II,  by Bertram Cooper

A spell put on Don;
Lavender haze morphs purple
Due to Zou Bisou.


Objectively, Meg’s

“Don’t deserve this” glare is the
Look of love, no? Oui.


Baby Kevin craves

Smirnoff in his formula?
Gene emergency!


“Where’s Harry?” “Who cares?”

Rog bought time; visionary
gets room with a view.


One wet lunch bag, dropped.

Human tsunami floods to
Lobby for fairness.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. bert's office permalink
    April 4, 2012 5:40 pm

    Tres funny. Really. So glad somebody’s stepping up to the plate to dispense the old man’s subtlely wise witticisms. (“Did you buy him a poney?”).

    Unfortunately, SCDP meetings are no longer in the conference room, They’re held standing up–and are over before he emerges from the bathroom. And he even announced that’s where he would be! Heartless jerks.

    • April 6, 2012 3:44 pm

      Merci ! I regret to inform you I have exhausted the extent of my French. To continue to type it so inadequately would only serve to embarrass me. I ask your permission to switch back to English for the remainder of this reply. (Apologies to Hans Landa)

      bert’s office! I knew you existed! You had to. Bertram gave the impression of being well-connected in November 1960 and the summer of 1962. Surely someone calls, or drops in to see him? His name’s still on the door after all. How can Bert be Bert if he doesn’t have a room to be in?

      Unfortunately I didn’t have time this week to verse-mine Cooper’s collection. I’ll try to catch up after this Sunday’s episode.

      To compensate I’ll pass this along. I read a bit of a teaser in a Matt Weiner interview that suggests Bert should get at least a juicy scene or two this season. Here’s the link if you’re interested. It’s mildly SPOILER-ish for the other characters too. Proceed with caution!!

      BTW, I enjoyed that pony line too. Take care.

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